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Behavior changed after quitting meth- is this normal?
| Lisa |
Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
I've been
obsessing (for a change) over the bad behavior of my ex.
I was wondering if anyone has experienced this or known anyone
who's experienced this, because I'm just having a really hard
time with it.
For those of you who know my story, I won't re-hash it again
(for the ninety-fifth time). For those of you who don't, this is
the bottom line:
When my ex was using, he made very bad decisions, his
personality changed drastically, and he treated me badly. All to
be expected of an addict (I say this AS an addict).
But when my ex STOPPED using and got clean, his decisions became
more bizarre, his personality worsened and he treated me much
worse than when he was using.
He was clean for almost six months before he relapsed. During
those six months, he hit his bottom (or what I would call his
bottom). He spiraled downward into someone I couldn't recognize.
His actions were lower than ever. His thinking process became
even more severely disabled. He actually GOT WAY, WAY WORSE
during his clean time.
Anyone else have experience with this? I never read about this
type of situation.
True, he didn't follow any kind of recovery program, but neither
do a lot of people who get clean. And I don't read about them
becoming WORSE than they were while using.
I'm baffled (and very, very sad).
Yep, I'm certain he was clean. I WISH I could
blame it on the drug! |
| message board replies... |
danima
l55 |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Lisa I think
you've described abstinence from meth and not recovery from it.
Take away the meth and what's left is sheer un-medicated
insanity. It does get worse before it gets better when we stop
using, and without some kind of outside help we turn into raging
monsters, some worse than others. Take away the meth and there
we are, wounded, bored, twisted, self centered, mean,
argumentive, obnoxious, condemning, impotent, frigid, etc...
We wallow in the lowest of emotions and live in a state of
anaerobia 24/7.
Our emotional pain begins to flourish along with the guilt,
shame, remorse, fear and assorted baggage from our pasts, kind
of like prematurely removing the bandages from some serious
wounds.
Consequently... whoever is handy becomes a scapegoat and a
whipping' post for the aggressions and insane behavior of the
abstaining addict.
It just goes to show that abstinence and a working recovery are
worlds apart.
Without applying some principals of accountability, self
acceptance, self forgiveness, making amends, the list goes
on.....we're left in a state of living hell that invariably
overflows onto others, typically those that we're closest to and
*should* be hurting the least.
In truth meth does often times get too much credit as it often
merely accentuates who we truly are.
Meth or not, some people are unbearable to be around, hardcore
alcoholics for example.
It's tough to know and understand a person that doesn't know and
understand him/her-self, nor want to.
Let go of that sadness Lisa, and rest assured that you weren't
the cause of the ex's insanity, regardless of any guilt trips
that were laid on you. Set yourself free.
'Cause you are! |
| Loraura |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Sounds like
he was using meth to self-medicate an existing mental disorder,
over a pre-existing condition made worse by the effect using
meth had on his brain.
In cases of severe self medication, the resulting untreated
mental condition, WITHOUT METH, is often much, much worse,
because not only are they not getting treatment for their mental
condition, they also have stopped self-medicating for it. It
rages like a beast. |
imlost
inky |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
There is
more than just meth that becomes habit forming Lisa.
Cold, cruel heartless is habit forming too.
Empty shells that say take what you can get while you can get
it, take it all, leave nothing behind.
Break others are you have been broken.
Such pleasure in pain........
Empty cold shells.
Abstinence is NOT recovery or discovery.
Meth isn't the only thing wrong with this picture. |
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Yes, I see the points in each one of your replies.
You're all right.
You all make perfect sense.
You all have hit the nail on the head.
I guess all I can do is get on with my life.
I just don't know where to put the pain where I don't have to
see it, feel it, look at it, and go through it every single f*ck'in
day.
Does anybody know a special place for that pain? |
imlost
inky |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Quote:
Pain has a message.
Quote:
Once we get the pain's message and
follow it's advice, the pain goes away.
page 214 of LIFE 101.
But alas, I skipped ahead. Back to page 33 -Who are you.
Not sure right now but I am thinking I'll be finding out before
too long.
{{{HUGS}}} We WILL make it through these lessons Lisa.
I love you. |
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
T!!!!!
You got it! I'm SO happy! PM me and let me know what you think
so far.
The book is magic, but only if ya keep the messages with you and
keep reminding yourself all the time. I find if I let a day go
by without reading or re-reading, and putting the stuff to use,
I fall right back into the same downward spiral mindset.
This is EXHAUSTING work!
I know we'll get through it, I know we'll come out better people
on the other side of these lessons, but unfortunately, patience
isn't one of my stronger qualities.
I've always wanted a quick fix.....makes sense I'm a drug
addict, huh? |
imlost
inky |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
A very
caring kind soul sent it to me Lisa and yes I am reading
it.
and yes it is a good book - even when I am not ready yet to
listen.
I will be ready- I have faith in myself LOL!
Check your inbox- I am off to plant my forbidden flowers.
I was told I have bought enough plants- I disagreed.
No such thing as enough flowers.
So I got the ones I would have cried over to put by my pond.
I am going to plant them then I am going to sit there and feed
my fish and stare at my pond, take in the beauty that is around
me in the hopes that it will put some beauty in me.
|
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Actually, I think your "visualization" method may be an
excellent answer!
I've never been very good at visualizing things that aren't
really there physically, but I've read about and heard about
this method in more than one place, so there must be some
validity to it!
I like the way you write...your similes and metaphors really
worked for me. The mental "shelf" you speak of is exactly what I
need...although it had better be a large one - I have a lot of
pain and sorrow to be put there.
I loved the way you referred to "Spring Cleaning"...that's what
I need right now in order to sort through what's worth putting
on the shelf and what should just be worked through and let go
NOW.
In any case, I'll try your visualization method tonight when I'm
alone, and it's quiet, and I can sort through the myriad of
feelings attacking me.
Thanks So Much! |
Teressa
NM |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Are you
freaking serious???!!! There is really a book called life 101??
Why have I not heard of this before?? Never mind why...just tell
me where to get it...please!
|
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Amazon.com.
You can get new or used and this book is a REAL TREASURE!
I first learned of it from Suzie, and I thank her everyday for
turning me onto it!
Happy Reading! |
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Life 101 by
John-Roger and Peter McWilliams.
You can order it through Amazon or by calling 1-800-LIFE-101. |
| Lisa |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Well, I had
a day from hell yesterday, but at the end of it, when things
calmed down a little and I was able to think semi-clearly, I
tried Lisa's (nomoremethingaround) visualization idea.
I'm not very good at stuff like this, but I closed myself off in
my room, turned on the air conditioner full blast, turned out
the lights and visualized putting my pain, heartbreak,
disappointment, resentment and sorrow in boxes and putting the
boxes on a "shelf" in a closet.
It wasn't easy for me, because my mind wanders off into
different avenues, or as Cal would say "I see a thousand other
doors opening in my mind".
But after about fifteen or twenty minutes, I found I was
breathing easier and was much calmer. When I opened my eyes and
turned on the light, I felt like I had taken a nap for an hour.
Thanks, Lisa. I gotta work on it, but it just might help!
|
| TnSkye |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
UNLIMITED
POWER by Anthony Robbins can really help you with visualization
as well as some other techniques. It is a great book. It may
help a great deal! |
no more
mething
around |
Re: Behavior changed after quitting meth. Anyone Ever Heard Of
This?
Cool ! And I
was so embarrassed that I erased it after I saw that you had
read it. LOL |
See also:
Can an ex-addict still have long term behavioral changes?
At what stage, during the meth usage cycle, does a person's behavior seem "normal"?
What is Punding?
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